Exclusive T-Shirt range from Nicky Domefur

Nicky Domefur has released what he hopes will be the first in a range of exclusive t-shirts. Gok Wan, well know celebrity shirt lifter fashion bloke said 'I think its brilliant. It makes a statement. Its casual, you could wear it to the pub then pop on some pearls and your ready for formal wear.

Nicky had a slightly different reason. 'Its just sometimes when I have had a bottle of Jagermiester, I find talking difficult. The shirts are simply helpful statements to get me through till morning when my nurse arrives. Future shirts will include 'Large Donner with chili sauce/ salad.' 'Can I sleep in your bush" and 'Do you sell mang?'.

Available in Sizes L/XL/XXL and Fucking Huge

Ammo admitted that as Editor of the Destroya Sports TV show, it may have been a mistake to put Domefur in charge of captions. It seems Nicky has never forgiven America for crap beer, the Twilight films and Madonna.

Domefur lets himself go!

Domefur agreed with Ammo that winning the Unlimited Febo prize at the Thorpe Village Christmas raffle had meant he had put on a few pounds.

Nicky Domefur. Not looking so hot!

Man of the people, Virtual Dildo, helps out his fans.

Marc Virtual Dildo is always a man with his finger on the clitoris of public opinion. When the Walsall branch of 'The Dr Love Foundation' came down to Surrey, MVD knew that being in a place with both electricity and running water might prove confusing for them. So to help them find him at the Staines Regis meeting room he had hired for the 3 hour seminar on Perineum Massage, he put some subtle signage up to help guide them through the complex Crooked Billet roundabout.

Where is Marc Virtual Dildo?

Destroya Transport

Following on from the successful launch of the Destroya car, designed by Ammo Dump, Soakie Vest has submitted the plans for the new Destroya plane. Powered entirely by burp gas the new plane can fly from Thorpe Village to Rome on a long burp. The House of Commons have already put an order in for one of the planes for the Prime Minister to use. A spokesman said 'its perfect for Cameron as he is full of hot air'.

Dismemberment TV

Sky have agreed that Welsh leg of the new Dismemberment TV show was not working. The locals just couldn't understand the instructions!

8th October 2011.

For Immediate release:

Sky Arts is delighted to announce a multimillion pound sponsorship deal for Destroya to re-create one the most famous albums in rock history 'Band on the run' by Paul McCartney and Wings.

Marc Virtual Dildo who is leading the initiative commented 'Obviously we shall not be actually doing any of the music from the album. Whilst we are we more talented musicians then Wings or McCartney, we simply don't want to pay McCartney any royalties. Instead the album will Destroyafied"

Marc Virtual Dildo "I refuse to pay for McCartney's next divorce"

As the only member of Destroya who can actually play an instrument, Soakie Vest has been working on the track list. 'Obviously Ammo usually writes the songs.... well the song titles, but I have decided to stick close to the original titles and just link them to some of the world tours we have been on. Some great memories, so I am told. Can't usually remember to much about them if I'm honest'. The Provisional track list is as follows:

Side 1)

1) 'Clems got the runs'

2) Jizz

3) Blue Bird.. dancing on the stage at the Club Teatrino (its cold in there)

4) Mrs Miggins

5) Let me roll it, smoke it, FREAK OUT.... Chalky Choices II

Side 2

6) Mam/Manunia. You've chosen to mutilate your self. Your still a bloke to me!

7) No Words, Geppetto just plays the music.

8) Stelios's Wheels and Wings and everything is £1.50 surcharge.

9) Picasso's last words (I'm going to drink Destroya under the table')

10) Nineteen Hundred and Eighty Five Francs. For a pint. F*ck you Paris!

Soakie Vest. 'I write the songs that make the whole world sing'

In charge of recreating the cover, Scud Crater has decided to hold a raffle for all the stars who want to join in. 'There are nine people on the original cover. So with the five of us, plus Chewbabba and of course Ruth, Head of Destroya plc/corporation, leaves only 2 places available. Kylie has already said yes but Virtual Dildo has said 'no, she can f*ck right off". Also, despite Ammo's protests, there will be no Spears. We want the real 'A' Lister's. Hopefully Mrs Vest can persuade her best friend Chesney Hawksneyface to come. Now that's a real rock legend, and Domefur insists that Angelina Jolie owes him a favour. So much mang wants to do it I have decided to raffle the 2 places off. £1,100 per ticket, or £5,000 for a strip. All monies going to the feed the Spanish donkeys charity'.

Scud Crater. Willing to strip in public for £5,000.

The project should be completed in time for the new Destroya world tour that takes place in London in the summer of 2012. SkyArts will be filming it for future broadcast. Zhou Xun has been told not to book flight as nobody but Ammo knows who she is.