Coming up with ideas

Presented with the artistic outpourings of his fellow band members, rock god Scud Crater became distracted from the continual routine of booze, fags and dismemberment.

His first thought was to develop the concept of spunk sculpture, but having discovered that the consistency of even his mighty gloppings were not enough to mould into any usable material he moved on to other techniques.

He came up with The Definitive Scud Crater A-Z of Spunk, having a Thomas The Tank over a picture of a celebrity of every letter of the alphabet and photographing them for a special coffee table book (with wipe clean pages so readers can join in the fun).

For the letter D he chose soap star sex queen Eileen Derbyshire - a move universally applauded by the rest of the band.

It prompted him to write a song Come On Eileen which he offered to the DESTROYA boys, but they and Dismemberment Records decided it was more suitable as a solo work.

It is likely to be included on his forthcoming Big In Japan, set for release in January.

The photographs are also going to be issued in the new year as a special fortnightly calendar and Scud has plenty of ideas for similar future spunk-orientated projects.

DESTROYA: Available on iTunes at last

Following the resolution of a long-running dispute between Apple and Dismemberment Records, the entire back catologue of DESTROYA albums will be made available on iTunes from the start of next year. Further details will be released on this site as soon as they are known.

In other news today it was announced that Chewbabba and Britney are to get married. Everyone at The Culture of Destroya would like to send their congratulations to the happy couple.

Ten year wait

When, back in November 2000, the single Chewy In The Cockpit failed to reach the top of the charts no-one was surprised.

It was the first and only release from DESTROYA's Live In Paris album and wasn't promoted by the band as they had rejected the album as a 'contractual obligation'.

The only promotion was done by Chewbabba himself with an appearance on Parkinson where he also famously discussed his masterpiece Star Whores.

Peaking at number four and only troubling the chart compilers for six weeks, it was supplanted by DESTROYA's angry anti-Paris statement - the double A-side Stop Looking At My Knob / I've Got The Hump.

This pair of tracks taken from the Tonic Is Beturr album went straight in at number one and stayed there as a seasonal Christmas coupling.

Ten years on though Chewy In The Cockpit has come to be viewed in a better light. The song was great, whatever the French associations it might have.

On Friday this week DESTROYA released a 10th Anniversary Remix of the song recorded on the way to Hamburg.

It comes in a limited edition metallic case with the a remastered version of the original live version and five other tracks: Look The Cabin Door's Open; Give Him To The Steward; Say It's For Your Daughter; Why My Daughter, Not Your Daughter; Why My Daughter, Not My Son.

Also included in the case is a DVD of Chewbabba's Parkinson appearance, including exclusive backstage footage.

It was announced yesterday (Sunday) that the track had entered the UK charts at number one.

The release will not be made available in France, but limited to Germany, Holland, Italy and Spain where it will be available in the next few days.

Poetic licence

Marc Virtual Dildo had, meanwhile, been producing a flurry of flamboyant poetry.

As usual it was Shakespearean in its eloquance, had the range of moods of TS Eliot and the gritty grip of Seamus Heaney.

The topics were varied but tended to come back to key issues and themes.

He took up residency in the corner of The Red Lion pub in Thorpe and began to compose some of his finest work, while simultaneously challenging his bandmates to channel their creativity into the newly discovered visual form.

His most famous lines are from a part written work, one that he has vowed to complete when the time, place and mood are all as required, and as every DESTROYA fan learned many years ago, for MVD if it's going to happen it has to be absolutely right.

Those immaculate lines deserve their place in print...

Oh face that launched a thousand ships,

Bring me a burger and plenty of chips,

And a small bowl of your mushroom sauce,

Of coursh.

Let's hope that MVD blesses the world with his creative talents and finishes the work. And maybe there is music in the collective minds of DESTROYA to which the words can be set.

Blurred inspiration

Through a bleary-eyed haze, looking at Nicky's masterpiece, Soakie Vest latched onto the idea of creative art. His initial offerings were simple alcohol based copies of the style of famous brewery artists, with the best known 'Here Are Two Beers' a statement of his inner self.

Laying his soul open through this newly discovered medium, Soakie took his own unique way of viewing the world and used it to create a whole new artistic school of thought. The masterpieces 'What Cotton Buds Look Like If You're Too Drunk To Focus Properly' and 'Don't Slash Your Wrists, Things Will Look Better In The Morning Light When You're Sober, Slash Some Green Paper Instead' have both won praise from all quarters.

CAMRA, the Campaign for Real Ale, launched its Art Through Alcohol project saying Soakie had brought a whole new meaning to the concept of viewing the world through a pint pot.

CAMRA, the Campaign for Rehabilitating Alcoholics launched its Alcohol Through Art project saying Soakie had provided a new way for those with drinking problems to view themselves.

CAMRA, the magazine for photographers who can't spell said it didn't know what the phuq it was all about but they liked it.

Meanwhile, as all this press debate was going on, DESTROYA were inspired to write the songs Something and Seven Tears as a result of these two artworks. Afterwards the five band members went for a pint to see if they could get any more inspiration... but The Ballad Of Booberella is another story entirely.

Toilet Art

The members of DESTROYA have talents that range way beyond the purely musical.

Soakie Vest is legendary for his inspiring alcohol-based tricks.

Marc Virtual Dildo's poetry is famous the world over.

Scud Crater has developed dismemberment as a dance form.

Ammo Dump searches his soul to design the band's album covers

Nicky Domefur meanwhile has produced some of the most remarkable artworks to be seen in the 21st Century and is being compared to Andy Warhol, Vincent Van Gogh, Damian Hurst and Henri Matisse.

His work 'Playing Cards, Toilet Seat, Trees, Clouds' has inspired DESTROYA to write the song Loo Seat In The Sky With Diamonds.

Undoubtedly a masterpiece.

NB. Nicky famously decked an art critic live on TV after he was likened to Tracy Emin. Well you can't blame him really can you.

The Definitive Destroya A-Z of British Hit Singles - Amendment

It would seem that there is an inaccuracy in the previously published list.

The song for the letter 'A' is apparently Antmusic (Adam & The Ants) and not as indicated in the original post.

The Definitive Destroya A-Z of British Hit Singles

Members of DESTROYA all have different tastes, but any study of their collective culture must first examine their taste in music.

Here you can read the list of songs that they jointly chose as the best they owned that had made the UK Top 20 chart... it's a rock-tastic read!

A-Ba-Ni-Bi (Izhar Cohen & Alphabeta)
Born To Run (Bruce Springsteen)
Come As You Are (Nirvana)
Don't You Forget About Me (Simple Minds)
Echo Beach (Martha & The Muffins)
Fanfare For The Common Man (Emerson, Lake & Palmer)
Get It On (T Rex)
How Soon Is Now (The Smiths)
Invisible Sun (The Police)
Jump Around (House Of Pain)
Killing Moon (Echo & The Bunnymen)
London Calling (The Clash)
Make Me Smile [Come Up And See Me] (Steve Harley & Cockney Rebel)
November Rain (Guns & Roses)
On A Night Like This (Kylie Minogue)
Purple Haze (Jimi Hendrix)
Queen Of Hearts (Dave Edmunds)
Reward (Teardrop Explodes)
See Emily Play (Pink Floyd)
Turning Japanese (The Vapours)
Unbelievable (EMF)
Video Killed The Radio Star (The Buggles)
Walk This Way (Run DMC)
X Y & Zee (Pop Will Eat Itself)
Yellow Pearl (Phil Lynott)
Ziggy Stardust (Bauhaus)

Welcome my friends...

The world of rock is strange, at times obscure, gargantuan, at times unfathomable, but above all it is the home of the beast they call... DESTROYA.

Welcome to this world and all that lies within.

There is plenty to amaze, plenty to delight and a good deal to scare all those brave souls who choose to enter here.

The Culture of Destroya is an organic thing, undergoing a constant process of development and metamorphosis.

You, dear fan, can embark on our journey across that cultural sea and learn as DESTROYA unveil everything you might need to know.