by Staff Reporter: Felicity Le Travail de Coup,
Taoism is the collective term used when describing the religious and/or philosophical traditions of Eastern Asia in the last 2000 years. People especially liken it to the Buddhist principals of peace, and many try to liken these principals to modern life. We have had the Tao of Physics, The Tao of Programming and most famously The Tao of Pooh. A new sensation is sweeping the Western World as stressed individuals desperately seek help in controlling their 'runaway' train lives. Welcome to 'The Tao of Soakie Vest'. The three Jewell's of Taoism are, Compassion, Humility and Moderation, and more and more people have realised that the modern Tao Messiah has been here all along. Once recent convert had this to say. 'I have a very stressful job, I employ thousands of people and loads seem to depend of me. I was struggling to cope with the pressure. Then one day my wife Michelle bought me the book 'The Tao of Soakie', and I have not looked back. Stressful days are a thing of the past. Of course I have become addicted to Fosters Lager and I get really pissed off if QPR lose but this is a price worth paying. I often ask What would Soakie Do? That's when I reach for the Fosters'. B. Obama, Washington D.C.
Another convert is Sig. S Berlusconi. 'I have had a little legal trouble lately and the Judge in the last trial said I would face jail unless I started following the Tao of Soakie. Can't quite understand the humility thing but the rest is easy'. Sig. Berlusconi has also invited me to his Villa on the lakes to practice Tantric Bunga Bunga Yoga. He even invited my sister and all of my female friends as well. What a nice man.
Back to America where Mr Obama has worked a plan of sorts to stop world terrorism. 'We plansh to dropsh fowshands of copies of his book all over the miggle easht. I'm on pint 12 of the lovely Foshters beer sho I better let shomebody elsh fly the plane'.
At his Surrey Mansion I ask Soakie what he plans to do with the royalties from his book. 'We have sold nearly 42million copies, with my royalties at 18% that's pretty much the bar bill for the next Destroya get together in the Red Lion, although not if we order Mushroom Sauce.
We all know of his Compassion and Humilty, but I ask him what he thought a good level of Moderation was? '15 pints' was his reply.
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