It’s that time of the year when the Babes of the world start waxing, pruning and of course flirting in the hope that they will be chosen for the 2012 Destroya Babes A-Z list.

The main news is that in conjunction with the UN, Destroya have announced that none of the winners of the 2011 competition qualify for this years list, and as such ladies as stunning as Jessica Alba, Sofia Vergara, Heidi Klum and Pauline Quirk will not feature this year.

Nicky Domefur who runs the competition on behalf of Destroya plc/corporation said ‘Tough, they have to get over it.  There are a lot of ladies out there and it’s only fair on the rest of the female population that we rotate the women. Hey that sounded like the instructions for the dismemberment dance’! 

He continued ‘In addition I shall be a lot tougher this year and have noted complaints made by China, France and Echo & The Bunnymen as to entries put in by Dump and Virtual Dlido last year. France complained that Dump’s entry for Odette Yustman is invalid as she now uses her married name of Annable and has done since 2010. In protest of this, and I really can’t think of any rationale  for this protest,  they will set fire to 4 trucks carrying Welsh lamb.  The Chinese have made an official complaint about the lack of winner for the ‘U’ surname, plus the winner of the ‘Z’ surname and the ‘Q’ surname pointing out that they have 1,326 actresses with a surname beginning with ‘U’,  3,918 actresses with a surname beginning with ‘Q’ of which, they claim,  at least 67 are better actresses than Pauline Quirke, and that they have 28,417 actresses with surnames beginning with a ‘Z’. (Although they admit that only 28,249 of those actresses are better than Catherine Zeta Jones)’.

Dump.. 'Yustman' a figment of his imagination?

‘Also, and I must stress no personal interest in this protest, Echo & The Bunnymen have protested about the entry championed by MVD for the letter ‘L’.  They point out, and with some justification, that their single ‘The Killing Moon’,  which is one of the greatest records of all time, was disqualified from the Destroya A-Z of singles, by Virtual Dildo, because of his Nazi like puritanical rule regarding the use of a ‘The’.  They have correctly highlighted that Kelly ‘Le’ Brock translates as Kelly The Brock, and they summarise that MVD was being a sneaky little shit and by submitting this entry he was effectively laughing in the face of Domefur, and indeed the whole of Great Britain’.

 Virtual Dildo. Double Standards?

 

Domefur finishes by adding 'I would also like to accept the honour bestowed upon me by the French Government and accept the title of ‘Commandant de la 1ère classe et maître de la Mang.  I look forward to compiling the list on November 10 when many juicy burgers shall be discussed. Then after ordering our food we shall compile the 2012 list and if we have time discuss the Destroya movies that never got made’.